Used-Car Buying
by Singing Mechanic
Here is some purchasing advice for used-car buyers:
–Don’t buy a car from a body shop. A little makeup can hide a whole lot of blemish. The right shirt can hide an otherwise indisputable set of love-handles. Likewise, hammering out a few dents and giving a car a nice new paint-job can suppress just about any sordid tale of automotive woe . . . for a time.
–Don’t buy a car with new tires . . . brand new tires. Why would anybody put brand new tires on a car they are selling? People put new tires on a car before selling it to disguise tracking problems. If it has front-end or steering problems, the tire wear will show this. Or if the car has been in a severe accident, tire wear can reveal this. So folks with unfixable or too-expensive alignment problems will often opt to cover up the problems by simply buying new tires.
–Don’t buy a car from a guy who lives on a boat. These guys often use their car for storage of items such as fishing gear and bait, old boots/shirts etc. Fish smell — well — it sticks around . . . longer than the little cardboard pine trees that hang from your rear-view mirror.
–Last but not least, never buy a car, especially a van, from a musician. We all know how clueless musicians can be when it comes to automobiles (excepting of course Neil Young, Les Claypool, and the Singing Mechanic*).
Obviously, there are always exceptions to the rules. The best advice is to get an inspection before you purchase. Keep in mind though, your mechanic might love it if you buy a lemon!
* Someone a few years ago got a killer deal on my old Cruise Master (aka: Cruise Bastard). It was a mini motor-home I converted into the ultimate tour van; big enough to stand in, complete with a bathroom and a fridge — but it still fit easily into a normal parking spot!
And now: a limerick (of sorts):
tour from heaven
tour from hell
tour round the country in a van that smells
when two are united
they can’t be divided
and if they can . . . this tour will
October 15th, 2007 at 3:31 am
this is some of the most useful and straightforward advice i’ve heard in a LONG, LONG while.
thanks! that was refreshing.
smiles and hope,
rebecca irene
November 13th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
That’s great! Do you ever listen to click and clack’s car talk on NPR? You’d probably like it! I am new to your music and sounds familyre over all! You should tour in Houston or Austin! We’ll come and see you!
Thanks for bringing the music back into christian music!
-Bekah-